Rahsaan Did It!
It’s raining outside and for some reason I feel good about it. Maybe because I am sitting here warm in my apartment that is actually clean (enough, LOL) in my favorite spot in the house, at my dining room table where all the magic happens. I’ve heard that a million times on MTV cribs where the celebrity goes to their gigantic bedroom and say, and this is where all the magic happens. If cribs ever came to my house, they would get shown my wooden table with the orange and white print piece of material from Ikea with the candles in the middle of it and I would smile and say, this is where the magic happens. This is where I write, paint, draw, thing, fidget, whatever it is I need to do in that moment, this spot is where I spend most of my time. Sometimes I will have music playing, sometimes I will leave the atmosphere perfectly silent with just sound of my keys tapping the board and on nights like tonight, the sound of the rain dancing outside of my window.
I went to see one of my favorite artists Rahsaan Patterson the other night with my girl Pia and I have no idea what to call what happened to me, but something shifted, in a good way. As an artist, there is just something almost magical about seeing someone, in their element, doing what they love to do. Not because they have to be there, but because they want to be there. I got the sense that even if Rahsaan wasn’t getting paid a dime, he would still be singing and creating just as hard as he does when he gets those checks. I love that. I have been so busy lately being a business woman. Doing readings and signings, managing appearances and interviews and because all of this is so new to me, it all seems a little bit intimidating and overwhelming, but in the best way possible. Like, I if was going to be intimidated and overwhelmed, I would need it to be because I am pursuing my passion and not because I am running from it. I have been so concerned with pleasing people, making sure people have a good time, making sure I read the right thing, wear the right dress, show up on time, have a good turn out...AHHHHHH!!!
Pause…breathe….reboot….
Rahsaan reminded me that I need to get back to the core of who I am as an artist and that is being a writer. I have had this idea in my head for almost a year for a book, but I have been too afraid to write it. Afraid that it would be too cliché or that I wouldn’t be able to make it interesting, but my man Paulo Coehlo came through again with wisdom that seemed to be created just for me. He said “I have a duty to you…and to myself to talk about the things that concern me and not only about what everyone would like to hear. Some books make us dream, others bring us face to face with reality, but what matters most to the author is the honesty with which a book is written…”
Needless to say that that quote alone was all of the inspiration I needed to print out those dusty, almost forgotten 45 pages of work and get back to it. I have a voice, I have a story to tell, my story. Only I can tell it the way I can tell it, and it is time for me to stop being afraid of the audience and write once again for myself. This new perspective makes me beyond excited about this new project. I am not used to hours flying by as fast as they are now that I have my head bent down over these pages, but I love it. I will adjust myself back into writers mode and I will learn to balance…production and business. This is who I am…an artist…a writer…and I will take everything that comes along with that.
Peace Y’all!
B
