Two year Itch
I recently discovered something about myself. I have no idea what prompted this discovery, but I realized that every two years, like clockwork, I make some kind of major change in my life. Let’s think about it for a second. I went to my community college for two years, worked for two years after that, was a student at Cal for two years, lived in New York for a year (which in my mind counts as two because I feel like I aged at least two years living out there LOL!) lived in my apartment in Berkeley for two years, worked at Stiles for two years, lived in my current apartment for two years, and have been working at my current job for yes, you guessed it, two years. Even the master’s program I am applying to is a two year program out of state which would mean that when it’s done, I will most likely be moving back to California to start over.
I don’t know what it is, but every two years, I just get this itch, this desire to make some sort of major change in my life. And for some reason, it can’t be a small change, like a new hairstyle or some new clothes, no. I have to be the one to pack it all up and move across the country, or dramatically quit my job without having another one (something I will never do again, lesson learned!) because working in that environment for another week, month year is out of the question.
The really funny thing is that each transition finds me scared out of my mind, although I would never admit that to anyone by Jesus and my journal. But the truth of the matter is, I am always looking for something more. Not necessarily in the ‘grass is always greener’ way, but more so in the, I want to be all I can be kind of way. The word settle has never been in my vocabulary. I don’t want to settle for the mediocre or the mundane, I am striving for greatness and it always seems to be just around the bend.
On a good note, I am learning to appreciate the moment more, but there is something about that two year mark that always gets me going. Makes me feel like it’s time to stretch my wings out and conquer new land. The next few months are going to be interesting and I am very excited to see what God is going to do. But don’t be surprised if I make some big announcements or show up with a husband one day! LOL!! That is just how I get down, I live for the moment, always ready to try something new, do something major.
Perhaps one day I will settle down, buy a house, have some kids, all of that good stuff, but right now I am in love with my freedom and the fact that at any point, when I am ready, I can pack up my bags, move anywhere in the world I please and discover what that place has for me. Of course, this will only be for two years. Because after that, it is time to move on and see what else is in store!
Peace Y’all!
B
