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October 30, 2007

Kids pretending to be adults

I had the realization the other day that kids always come with a whole bunch of stuff. Have you ever seen a pack of kids roll into a place and all of a sudden there are piles of crayons and toys and books and crackers and stuffed animals and random bits of paper all over the place? You see this mountain of life materialize seemingly out of nowhere and wonder how in the world they managed to have all that stuff! I sat in the coffee shop working on an article I was supposed to turn in a long time ago (I’m working on it Shaleia! LOL!) and I found myself fascinated by these two little kids and their huge mountain of stuff.
I look at my life and I fully and wholly acknowledge that I have never quite mastered the art of traveling lightly. I’m making progress, no doubt, but I still have a lot to learn. Instead of the giant suitcase and two carryon bags for a weeklong trip to mom’s house, I have learned to take one small carry on item carrying all of the pajamas I could possible need for my weeklong nap in mom’s bed.  Instead of the huge purse and canvas bag I learned to carry around in New York, I am down to one canvas bag or purse, depending on the occasion. So I guess the problem is not the amount of bags I carry, it’s more the all of the stuff I carry in my one bag. On any given day I have journals and organizers, laptops, composition notebooks, ipods, cell phones, pens, lips stuff, wallets, I could keep going, but you get it. Whenever I go to the coffee shop I always have to give myself at least five minutes to pack everything up before I can leave. Then I double check the floor and the seat just to make sure one of my little things didn’t fall out and then I’m out. For the most part, I actually wind up using everything I travel with which says a whole lot about my ADD, but as I watch the kids as the table next to me, I can’t help but notice the similarities in our lives.
The theory is that kids need to bring all of this stuff with them to enhance their learning. They carry all of the crayons and crackers to help stimulate their lives, so what is my excuse? I feel like I am past the mental development phase, or am I? Technically I am constantly learning and getting to know myself and I often carry my journal or composition notebook because thoughts come at me faster than a pack of flies and I want to write them down before I forget. But I honestly sit here and wonder if we ever truly grow up. Just like kids I have a tendency to hold onto things until they fall apart or are completely useless because sometimes it just feels better to have it. Of course kids hold onto sweaters and favorite dresses, where I hold on to relationships, mistakes, and ideas. But hanging on to something that needs to let go is still hanging on.
 My idea of a grown up is someone who somehow magically manages to keep their apartment clean, is always appropriately dressed for unexpected company or various outings, always has groceries in their house and is essentially very well balanced. A grown up always has money in their account and is always able to take care of those little things that come up right away. That is not my life. In fact, I have never actually met anyone who fits this description. I know that this concept exists because I’m sure if Bill Gates gets a flat tire he can handle it that day, but in my world…everything is a work in progress.
I guess what it all boils down to is that we are all kids, training to be adults. I don’t really know when I will achieve that mark, and if I get there I’ll let you know how it is, but for now, I’ll continue being a kid at heart and pretend to be a grown up when I need to. But for now, the grown up in me want to snatch one of these little kids up and teach them how to clean up after themselves! My momma didn’t play that!
Peace y’all
B

October 25, 2007

New Beginings

Times have officially changed. I am sitting here, typing this blog on my brand new laptop. Last week I received an email from this woman who asked me to read her manuscript. I opened her email and in pure only my luck fashion, the email had a virus that basically sent Dino into overload and Dino died. God is good because I had some money I was saving up and I was able to find a new computer on sale at Best Buy. God is so good. So I am moving on up in the world and I have a computer that lets me move it around, I don’t have to shake to get it started, allows me to watch videos and basically get my life together. I am so beyond happy, I just can’t even tell you. I am extra motivated now and once I figure out how to use this whole windows Vista situation, I’ll be good to go. Seriously, it took me 45 minutes to figure out how to save a document on this thing. LOL. But I will be more consistent with the blogs as there is plenty of foolery that I have not been able to document, but now that I have computer access, I’m all good! My life is definitely back on track. I’m so excited. I haven’t forgotten about my promise for a big announcement and its coming. Soon and very soon.

 

Holla!

 

October 10, 2007

Greetings

It’s been a minute. I have no excuses other than I’ve been lazy. Or maybe lazy is a strong word, I’ve been expanding my relaxational awareness. Yes, I like that so much better. I’ve been taking some time to learn about the power of no. I’ve been over extending myself and I’m learning how to cut back. So I’ve been spending tons of time in coffee shops and the streets of Oakland and at the new job of course, just soaking in life. It’s been great because I have been writing a lot. And I mean a lot and that feels the most amazing. For a while I felt like I had lost control of my pen, but I got it back now. All I needed was a little break. So let’ see, what’s been going on…

So I have an idea for a new book that I have been spending some time working on and researching. In that research I happened upon a book called "The Rules". Supposedly if you follow these 36, yes 36 rules, by the end of your journey you will have snagged the man of your dreams. Or at the very least you will be married. I was only able to get to rule number 8 before I decided to let it burn. This book is psychotic, and not in a good way. Its all about manipulation and misrepresentation for the sole purpose of bagging a husband. The introduction actually tells women that you have to do whatever it takes to get yourself a man. Whatever it takes. So if you have a bad nose, get a nose job…I could go on, but I really don’t think that that is necessary.

It is so scary to me that in this day and age, books like this are written and purchased by the millions and smart, successful, intelligent women are told to down play everything they have accomplished just so they can get a man. I have conversations with people and ask them what their goals or dreams are, and instantly they start talking about men they are dating, or what kind of wedding they want to have and that to me is a little scary. Where did the thinking go that it was important to be a complete person before you jumped into a marriage? Why don’t people think past the actual wedding and all of fun stuff and realize that you are going to be looking at this man for the rest of your life? If you don’t take the time out to figure out who you are, then how on earth are you going to decipher what qualities you desire in a mate? I don’t know what’s going on in the world today but one good thing that came from this for me was it affirmed that my Single in 07 campaign was definitely a good look.

On the other hand, I have fallen in love with another writer named Paulo Coehlo and he is amazing. He is the author of the Alchemist, which is his most famous book, but he’s written I think 8 or 9 books, if not more. I am on a mission to read them all. His writing is amazing and I am determined to meet him one day. Eleven Minutes changed my life.

Speaking of life changing, Jill Scott’s new CD….

*Drops the mic.

Other than that, Cal football is ranked 2 in the nation. I almost had to turn in my Golden Bear car because of how hard I was rooting for stanfurd to beat U$C. That was an amazing game. Freaking amazing. How dope does Cal Football have to be to have a bye week and still move up in the polls. And again I say Go Bears.

 


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